mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
