Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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