So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
