But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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