I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
