just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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