I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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