Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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