So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
