ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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