cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
