p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
