I accidentally burped into my bong.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize