i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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