I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
