North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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