i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
