dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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