i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
