He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
