idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
