Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
