I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
