Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Its about making memories worth repressing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
