i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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