dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
