I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
