OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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