there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
