I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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