I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
