Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
