Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
