O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
