Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
