quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize