So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize