She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
