He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
