Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
