yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
