the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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