Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
