Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize