Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
