Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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