tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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