i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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