The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize