if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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