If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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