I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
did you get engaged???
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
