So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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