Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
