That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
