i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
