Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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