he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
