There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
