Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
