Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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