I love black thongs
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
