The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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