We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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