He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize