Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
