That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
